I briefly delved into my mom’s Breast Cancer diagnosis. Since then we have found out that
-No lymph nodes were involved (good)
-The cancer is aggressively spreading (bad)
-She has to have hard hitting aggressive chemo (bad)
When she got her diagnosis all I could think was “I will have lost both my parents by the age of 24…..”. No matter how hard I tried to ignore it, push it to the back of my mind, or distract myself it was always there. Lurking.
Fast forward to today. Mom has (as of yesterday) completed 3 chemo treatments. She actually feels amazing. She’s still working and speding time with friends. Given, its only 3 of 8 treatments…its a damn good start.
I think the most difficult part was watching her hair fall out. After she caught me crying in the bathroom she decided to just shave it. That night I did something I never thought I would…I helped my mom shave her head. It, at least so far, as been the most tangible evidence of this “cancer” word thats being thrown around. I cried for a few moments (only because mom started crying) but since then…I’ve been fine. I thought I would be a disaster every day. Unable to laugh, always tired from crying, and cold to everyone around me. Its been completely different.
We have had strangely amazing weather for Missouri…80/75 degree highs and cool summer breezes. This has been a seriously needed break from the humidity and heat. Moms shockingly good health has almost proven to be a well needed break from the oppressive Cancer Cloud that has loomed over our house since late April.
I won’t lie. I’m cautious to get used to the nice weather (I so dearly want to drag out my sweaters and hoodies) but I’m terrified to get used to moms good health. I know it could literally flat line at any minute.
But for now, I think mom and I will enjoy some time outside in the amazing weather and say a collective F OFF to the Cancer Cloud.
Thank you to everyone for your kind words, prayers, and support. I’ll be needing it still I’m sure.
